26 July 2014: Danger To Myself

Sometimes I am a huge danger to myself and take risks just for the sake of it. When I get in my depressed moods is when most of these risks occur. Because in those moments I don’t care about anything anymore. I walk around in a numb state of mind, both physically and mentally.

The dangerous situations that I get stuck in are purely my own fault. I know the consequences and I know the possible harsh effects. In an attempt to change who I was, to become a different person, someone who I think other people wanted me to be. To feel accepted, to become social, to tick things off my bucket list and achieve what I want to in life. In the end though, I either majorly regret it or feel especially proud.

I extract myself from situations for no reason at all. I get in this down mood where only one or two certain people can pull me up from.

06 July 2014: I Think Of You Every Single Day

For the one I miss the most who I will never be able to see again. No matter how strange, I think of you everyday and I would give anything to have one more moment with you. This song is yours. Love you forever x

My heart feels like it's broken

Like I'm missing a piece of my soul

I feel you watching from above

Each day as I grow old

I feel like you're a part of me

That you would have really cared

Like you felt all my pain

For the three months you were here

 

Oh I want to know you

I just want you in my life

To have you hear all about my day

And have lunch with you on a Sunday

It's moments like these I wish we could share

For now we're apart, but one day I'll join you up there

 

I've heard all the stories

About your redeeming qualities

About your love for fast cars

And your kindness and generosity

Tears well in my eyes as I picture you, in my mind

And as your birthday passes and we celebrate your life

I can't help but wonder, if you were still here, what it would be like.

I can only imagine that you are with me in every way

Filling my life with love, each and every day

 

Oh I want to know you

I just want you in my life

To have you hear all about my day

And have lunch with you on a Sunday

It's moments like these I wish we could share

For now we're apart, but one day I'll join you up there

 

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You're not in my sight but you are in my mind

Photographs are all I'm left with, without them I'm blind.

When the stars align and the skies turn grey

I will finally be able to see you

When heaven takes me away

For now, I pray.

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Oh I want to know you

I just want you in my life

To have you hear all about my day

And have lunch with you on a Sunday

It's moments like these I wish we could share

For now we're apart, but one day I'll join you up there